The Foxfire Gazette
by TheBookRider
Summary: Dame Alina really shouldn't have let Keefe run Foxfire's newspaper...This was bound to happen! Newspaper articles written by various KOTLC characters.
1. KOTLC

Book One

 **WONDERBOY GETS WHOOPED**

by Keefe Sencen

Today's Splotching Championship will go down in the history of Foxfire! As usual, the event started out in the gym. Everyone exercised their telekinesis against his or her best friend for a practice round before the real tournament started. Foxfire's resident champion who has never lost a match, the eminent Fitz Vacker, was going strong, diminishing the group opponents placed against him; however, he didn't notice the new rising star: Sophie Foster!

Despite only being a Level Two, Foster managed to paint many Level Three and Four prodigies' faces, including Stina Heks's visage, which looks very pretty in blue! The final pair was announced with baited breaths, but no one could believe the results! Foster and Vacker were to face off to determine the Ultimate Splotching Champion. Despite Foster's rising popularity, everyone's bets were on Vacker. The color pink was chosen due to the spectators' chant, the Mentors called "Splotch!", and the match was on! Not even this reporter could have guessed the outcome.

Instead of Vacker or Sophie's face getting painted in pink, they struggled against each other for five minutes in an equally challenging battle before both of them went flying unexpectedly into the wall with excess force. The look on the Mentors' faces was priceless!

Vacker and Foster both ended up getting knocked unconscious and going to the Healing Center. While they were gone, the Mentors took up someone's suggestion and made the decision that Foster was the winner of the Splotching Championship. After all, Vacker did hit the wall much harder than she did.

After a brief visit to Elwin, Vacker and Foster returned to session and were met with many congratulations funneled towards Foster. There was an especially touching reunion between Vacker and his sister, Biana, who tearfully hugged him, glad that her anxiety about his health had been pacified. Foster was awarded the customary prize of the Splotching Championship (a pardon for detention) while Vacker looked on wistfully. The history books of the Elvin world will proclaim the news! It's not a fallacy; Wonderboy _can_ get whooped!

This is Keefe Sencen, your source for information on all of Foxfire's sports. Remember: If I haven't written about it, it hasn't happened!

 **REEKROD PRANKSTER REMAINS UNFOUND**

by Keefe Sencen

Earlier in the week, an unknown prodigy snuck into Dame Alina's pyramid office and left a hefty amount of reekrod in her desk. The perpetrator has yet to be caught, although the gnomes are keeping a sharp eye out for any suspicious characters. Prodigies, if you have any information, please contact the nearest gnome or report to Dame Alina immediately.

 **The Dame's Lane**

by Dame Alina

Congratulations, prodigies! Last week, seven people manifested new abilities, which is a new record! In other news, midterms are coming up. Your grades need to be at seventy-five percent or higher. If you are having trouble in a specific session, please talk to a librarian or see Lady Nissa in the Tutoring Center. It is never too late to get a head start on your studying!

Also, whoever put the reekrod in my desk _will_ be facing up to _months_ of detention. I will not stop until I find out who you are.

 **Fashion Passion**

by Biana Vacker

It's almost halfway through the school year, and your closet needs thinning out for upcoming new styles! To those Level One prodigies who are confused, wearing mixed socks is _not_ hip. If you do want to go out in style with socks, try black! The color accents your Foxfire uniforms, even if we all look like idiots in capes.

Boots are also in! They're _extremely_ useful for covering up the pockets on your ankles. For girls, the bigger the heels on the boots, the better. Boys, please do not attempt to wear boots. They will only make you look like Excelium escapees, which is exactly the opposite effect you want.

This week, certain prodigies of Foxfire will be going around with a petition to change the uniform. Please, sign and put your vote in for more stylish designs!

 **GREAT GULON INCIDENT STILL A MYSTERY**

by Keefe Sencen

Earlier in the year, an unknown prodigy unleashed a flock of gulons into the school body during an assembly. Mass chaos ensued and most of the students ended up going home due to the stench. As with the reekrod affair, the culprit is yet to be caught. Do not fear, for Dame Alina assures us all that she will hunt him or her down.

 **The Moot**

by Lady Wouldn't You Like to Know

A little birdie told me that Lady Galvin's cape got burned to pieces by Sophie Foster. How and why are still a mystery, but could it be that Foster is afraid of failing Midterms?

Rumor has it that Barth the Reaper, one of our gnomes who helps with agriculture, was seen vigorously attacking the weeds in the greenhouses with a spade. Are plants going to his head?

Jensi Babblos is rumored to have had his eyebrows zapped off after an extreme Elementalism session. Dex Dizznee is in the midst of whipping up a restoring elixir, but who knows what will happen when a Dizznee is involved.

Councilor Oralie was seen dancing with Councilor Kenrik at the last Solace Gala. It has been said that he asked her onto the floor at least seven times!

 **Lost and Found**

LOST: PACK OF GULONS. IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO DAME ALINA'S OFFICE!

LOST: FAMILY CREST PIN. RETURN TO DEMPSEY'S LOCKER, #556

FOUND: SENSE OF STYLE BY KEEFE SENCEN!

LOST: BALDING ELIXIR. HAIL DEX DIZZNEE.

LOST: HUMAN IPOD. LAST SEEN IN KEEFE SENCEN'S HANDS. IF STOLEN, PLEASE RETURN TO SOPHIE FOSTER.

FOUND: A PRETTY NICE CAPE WITH SOME BURNS IN IT. HAIL FITZ VACKER.

 **Wanted**

Wanted: _Melbourne's Guide to Gulons_. Will pay fifty lusters if the book is left under the tree by the silver towers by eight in the morning on Monday.

Wanted: Loyal subjects to call Keefe Sencen the "Lord of the Universe" for a whole week.

Wanted: A partner for ballroom dancing in detention. Please hail Valin.

Wanted: Mallowmelt recipe. Deliver to Elwin in the Healing Center.

Wanted: The Moonlark. If discovered, please deliver to a creepy dark underground hideout.

Thanks, the Neverseen.

Wanted: The Neverseen. If captured, please deliver to a creepy cave in the middle of nowhere.

Thanks, the Black Swan

 **Idioms for Idiots**

If your skies are grey, blame the nearest Hydrokinetic. They're probably causing all the rain.

If life gives you lemons... Elves don't make lemonade.

Stars can't shine without darkness; but when they do shine, the Black Swan sure makes it a pain to bottle their light.

If April showers bring May flowers, check them. They're probably poison ivy.

If at first you don't pass midterms, bribe someone!

The only thing that limits you is yourself...and science, the Councilors, Dame Alina, Grady, Edaline, Mr. Forkle, the Black Swan, the Neverseen, Sandor, Elwin, Alden...

An imp in your home will soon clear it of unwanted insects. Of course, you'll still have the imp.

There are two kinds of elves: perfect and insane. Sometimes a combination of both.

THE END


	2. Exile

_Moldy Midgard. Thank you for all your fantastic reviews! I hope this lives up to your expectations! :)_

Book Two

 **TELEPORTATION MANIFESTATION**

by Keefe Sencen

In the past couple of weeks, Sophie Foster, a Level Three prodigy, developed an ability that no one else has: teleporting! At Havenfield, the councilors demanded that Foster take Silveny, the last of her kind, out for a flight to prove that the alicorn was being rehabilitated properly. Foster nervously pulled out an eyelash as she mounted Silveny, but the pair took off into the sky without incident. However, disaster was not long in coming.

Silveny kept on flying away from the councilors, Lord Ruewen, and Lord Vacker even when they called for Foster to turn around. A loud clap of thunder rumbled through the sky and Silveny and Foster disappeared into thin air after taking a sharp nosedive.

Thus, the shouting match began. Council Bronte yelled at Lord Ruewen, who yelled at Lord Alden, who in turn yelled at Foster's bodyguard, Sandor. Sandor blew a fuse at Fitz Vacker, who in vain tried to defend himself. Whilst everyone's faces turned glorious shades of red, Foster and Silveny returned in the same fashion as they had disappeared. Foster, who had faded during her adventure, underwent several treatments to regain her color.

No one realized it at the time, but it wasn't Silveny who took them away. Foster has manifested yet again: teleporting!

Reporting, this is Keefe Sencen, your source for all events at Foxfire. Remember: If I haven't written about it, it hasn't happened!

 **The Dame's Lane**

by Dame Alina

Please note, prodigies, that it is against Foxfire's rules to put itching powder in _any_ Level's opening ceremony suits. Not only did the powder cause all of the new Level Twos discomfort, but the infirmary ran out of Itch-Be-Gone.

Also, despite the work of a petition going around, there will be _no_ assembly-wide show and tell every second Thursday of the month.

 **BANSHEE BREAKOUT**

by Keefe Sencen

Earlier this week, the screaming of a banshee was heard across the grounds of Foxfire. A reporter investigated, but could not find the source of the horrible sound. The staff warns prodigies to be on the lookout for any of the dangerous beasts and to hail a mentor if one is spotted.

Completely unrelated to the banshee screaming, Councilor Bronte laughed on Tuesday.

 **Fashion Passion**

by Biana Vacker

Fear no more about stupid capes pulling at your throat and weighing your neck down! To turn these stupid garments into classy accessories, simply hang the cape off your left shoulder, securing your family crest pin on your right shoulder. The overall effect is stunning and sure to turn heads!

This is Biana Vacker, with a passion for fashion!

 **RISE TO DEFEND YOURSELF**

by Keefe Sencen

After discovering a new talent for throwing ninja stars, I am now holding a martial arts class in my personal awards room at Candleshade. Why, my dear readers may ask, am I hosting this class? After recent events in creepy dark caves in the middle of nowhere, the prodigies of Foxfire need to learn to defend themselves physically, not mentally! When was the last time a telepath won a fight against a psionipath? Rise to defend yourselves, prodigies! On another note, a prize will be given to the student who can pin the most detention slips into the wall with ninja stars in thirty seconds.

(Please note that no ill will is meant towards any telepaths by this article.)

 **Lost and Found**

LOST: PICTURE OF SOPHIE FOSTER DANCING IN LEVEL THREE MASTODON COSTUME. IF FOUND, DROP OFF AT THE HEALING CENTER.

FOUND: SPARKLING PAIR OF DIAMOND EARRINGS. HAIL BIANA VACKER. IF NOT CLAIMED IN TWO WEEKS, THEY'RE MINE.

LOST: BOOK OF DWARVEN POEMS. IF FOUND, DELIVER TO SIR TIERGAN.

 **Wanted**

Wanted: Someone to help a fellow prodigy sneak into Dame Alina's office. Must have a good criminal record. Hail K.S.

Wanted: Tutoring help. Must have experience with clam shells. Hail Kate, locker #568

Wanted: Alicorn waste. Deliver to the third bush on the left of the silver tower's door at the next full moon. Sample must smell and be in a slight state of decay.

Wanted: Good, sturdy pair of shoes to hit Keefe Sencen over the head with. Hail Sophie Foster and/or Fitz Vacker.

Wanted: Romantic flight on the back of an alicorn. Hail Valin.

Wanted: Knockout cookie recipe. Thanks, the Black Swan.

Wanted: Most Uncomfortable Chair in the Universe for tutoring session. Hail Councilor Bronte.

Wanted: Swizzlespice by the bucket load. Deliver to Havenfield's pasture.

Wanted: Somewhat decentish prodigy with half a brain on their shoulders who _won't_ blow up my classroom, burn my cape, or transmute tables into gold. Visit Lady Galvin after session.

 _ **Ask Marella**_

by Marella Redek

Dear Marella,

I recently developed an ability, and it's pretty lame. Should I tell a mentor that I manifested or continue ability detecting, hoping for something better?

Sincerely,

Lame Loser

...

Dear Picky Chooser,

It's okay to wait, but don't be foolish. Unless your ability is restricted (in which case, you need to tell someone) go ahead and continue in ability detecting. If you're a polyglot, you have a high chance of manifesting something better, like conjuring. Don't wait to long, though! If you don't manifest something else, just admit that you won't and start your special ability session.

Cordially,

 _Marella_

 **Advertisements**

 _If your name is Councilor Bronte, leave my daughter alone. Next time something happens in your tutoring session and she gets hurt, there will be consequences._

 _Sincerely, Grady Ruewen_

 _Will the person who hit Stina Heks in the face with a tomato last lunch period hail Keefe Sencen to receive a hefty reward._

 _Are you tired of pesky alicorns named Silveny taking you on unexpected joy rides? Are you exhausted from constantly fading for hours on end? Well, fear no more! Keefe's Cream guarantees to restore all color to your cells in less than five minutes! Only 50,000 lusters a bottle! Get yours before supplies run out!_

 **The Moot**

by Lady Wouldn't You Like to Know

Rumor has it that Sophie Foster has crashed into alicorn waste five times this week. Could she be clumsy, or is she trying to scare Fitz Vacker away from her? Is Wonderboy not as wondrous as he seems?

The Heks family was seen being dragged across one of Havenfield's pastures. Is Sophie Foster failing in her quest to rehabilitate the alicorn, or is Keefe Sencen behind the whole thing?

The End


	3. Everblaze

Book Three

 **BREAKING NEWS: DAME ALINA QUITS**

 **(An Ode to Dame Alina)**

by Keefe Sencen

Soon, Dame Alina shall become Councilor Alina. She has spent many hours laboring to guide us on our paths. I don't know about you, but I will certainly miss her. Just the other day, I counted all the hallways I've tripped her in – a grand total of forty-two!

Yes, she never could pin blame on the guilty party of the Great Gulon Incident, and she spent half the time fixing her hair, but she did much good for Foxfire. Magnate Leto will surely enjoy all the mirrors she remodeled into his soon-to-be-new office.

And now, I offer a parting tribute to the tenth greatest principal Foxfire has ever seen:

 _All of ye, oh hear_

 _As we close this school year_

 _Dame Alina's good looks_

 _Put her in the books_

 _Now she's leaving_

 _Causing an upheaving_

 _But never fear_

 _Magnate Leto's here!_

 **The Dame's Lane**

by Dame (soon to be Councilor) Alina

Prodigies, I regret to inform you that after so many days of guiding you, I will no longer be principal of Foxfire, active in two weeks' time. With the death of Councilor Kenric, I have stepped up to take a position of leadership in our world. With many fond memories of most of you (and less fond ones of a certain prodigy with the last name of Sencen), I pass the baton over to Master Leto.

I give you these parting words of wisdom: Keefe, I know you were behind the Great Gulon Incident. Don't you deny it.

 **SHOWDOWN IN THE CAFETERIA**

by Keefe Sencen

While Sophie Foster and Co. were attempting to peacefully eat lunch in the cafeteria, Stina Heks viciously attacked her, gnashing her teeth and accusing Foster of being willing to heal a criminal with a broken mind. Although this was true, I believe that it is the right of every Foxfire prodigy to be able to eat lunch in peace. Words flew back and forth between Heks and Foster over the hushed cafeteria until Dame Alina interceded, although tensions are far from cooled.

 **GET THOSE MOMENTOS!**

By Keefe Sencen

As Dame Alina will be leaving us in two weeks' time, the staff of the Foxfire Gazette encourage readers to swamp the principal, asking her for her autograph or a clipping from her cape. Do not let her have a moment's peace. Do not relent.

 **Wanted**

Wanted: Garden gnomes to redo the landscaping of Candleshade's front lawn. Hail Keefe Sencen or see him during agriculture session.

Wanted: Dex Diznee, for creating an ability blocker. Hail Sandon, Grady Ruewen, or Fitz Vacker for the pounding of a lifetime.

Wanted: Incriminating or embarrassing photos of Dex Diznee. Hail Lex, Bex, and Rex Diznee.

Wanted: Four large bags that won't wrinkle clothes for running away to join the Black Swan. Hail Biana Vacker.

Wanted: Nose plugs for prodigies who insist on needing their own skin burned off. See Elwin at the Healing Center.

Wanted: KEEFE! KEEFE! KEEFE! See Silveny at the Sanctuary

Wanted: Advice on how to deal with an angry father-in-law. Leave message at mouth of a creepy cave. Brant.

Wanted: An ability. Contact Marella Redek

 **Lost and Found**

LOST: SHAMPOO THAT REMOVES THE SMELL OF SMOKE. OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. HAIL FITZ VACKER.

LOST: BOX OF EFFLUXERS. IF FOUND, DROP OFF AT DAME ALINA'S OR MAGNATE LETO'S OFFICE.

LOST: SISTER. SHE KEEPS VANISHING. HAIL FITZ VACKER.

LOST: SANITY FROM TEACHING STUDENTS WHO CAN'T EVEN MIMICK PROPERLY. SEE LADY CADENCE IN THE SILVER TOWER.

 _ **Notice: For those wanting to throw a farewell party for Dame Alina, a committee meeting will be hosted at Sophie Foster's house on Thursday to make plans. Donations of matches, effluxers, reekrod, and gulon treats are welcomed.**_

 **Keefe's Poetry Corner**

by Keefe Sencen

 _Keefe, that crazy adorable nut_

 _Doesn't have teal eyes_

 _But a really adorable haircut!_

And now a note from a very special guest writer, Sophie Foster!

To the Neverseen: You can't hurt my family and friends. I'm not going to sit around anymore, waiting for you to come after me. I'm going to fight. With sparkles! Also, no such committee meeting will be held at my house.

 **The Moot**

by Lady Wouldn't You Like to Know

Rumor has it that Fintan, after his escape from that bejeweled tower Oblivymere, will be making an appearance as a guest star on the human movie Frozen 2.

Rumor has it that Sophie Foster jilted Fitz Vacker because he couldn't get the smoke smell out of his hair. Were his teal eyes not enough to keep the relationship together?

A little birdie told me that Dame Alina was seen packing a framed picture of Alden Vacker along with the rest of her personal belongings in her office. Is the flame still alive?

 **Fashion Passion**

by Biana Vacker

I, for one, would like to make it clear that wearing metal...well, I won't say it, but for reference thing _ogre._ Or King Dimitar. Tattoos. Metal. If there's one advice I can give my readers, it's don't get a tattoo.

On a somber note, I want to say that everyone who attended Councilor Kenric's Planting certainly honored him with their attire and hair. He will always be remembered in our hearts.

Although there's more to be said about fashion, I'm terribly busy right now trying to decide which clothes to take with me when I run away to join the Black Swan. So for now, I'm Biana Vacker, with a passion for fashion!

 **Advertisements**

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 _Notice: As Keefe Sencen will be running away to join the Black Swan along with the rest of his friends, the Foxfire Gazette will remain indefinitely closed after this final edition. Thank you ~ Magnate Leto_


End file.
